On this episode of Retained, Scott Bishop talks with Jen Love of Solace Divorce. Jen is a family law attorney, mediator and divorce coach. She spent her first nine years as a litigation attorney in the Cook County, Chicago family courts. Today she focuses only on mediation. She explains what changed for her, what clients are carrying when they walk into a law office, and why she thinks attorneys can do more for the emotional side of divorce.
Key takeaways
- Her career change came from her own family. Jen started practicing in 2006. After she had three kids in 39 months, she says she could no longer play the role of zealous advocate for one person in a family. When her youngest was born 12 years ago, she moved to mediation only and referred her litigation cases out.
- Divorce is two processes at once. Jen describes a legal process and an emotional process happening at the same time. In her view, the court system is not built for the emotional part, so clients often get no guidance there.
- Calmer clients make the legal work easier. She remembers clients calling about a spouse being 10 minutes late for a drop-off. Her point: when clients are calm and grounded, they can say what they want from a steady place, and the legal steps tend to go more smoothly.
- One couple's story. Jen described a couple who spent three years in court and over $60,000 each, with only temporary orders. She says they came to Solace and were divorced four months later. Every case is different, and this is her account of one couple.
- Holidays can be planned around the kids. Instead of a standard rotation, Jen asks parents what they want their children to experience, such as both parents being there on Christmas morning, if that works for the family.
In her words
"it's not about winning. It's not about getting what you deserve."
"your clients are dysregulated emotionally. That's why they're calling you so much."
What's next for Jen and Solace
Jen says she is bringing more attorneys in to do mediation work with Solace, which serves clients around the country. She also plans attorney retreats in Crestone, Colorado starting in spring 2027. Her site, solacedivorce.com, has resources and her Divorce with Love masterclass.
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This post summarizes a general podcast conversation. It is not legal advice. Laws differ by state, so talk with a licensed attorney about your situation.
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