On this episode of Retained, Scott Bishop talks with Jill Barnett Kaufman. Jill is a therapist turned divorce coach, a co-parenting expert, the author of The Co-Parenting Playbook and a co-founder of Divorce Network Pro. She explains what clients need that the legal process does not give them, and how a coach can work alongside the attorney.
Key takeaways
- Coaches and therapists do different jobs. Jill says therapists often look back at causes, and they can't really give advice on how to go through a divorce. A divorce coach helps clients manage their emotions and figure out what matters most to them, so they have a voice in the process.
- Attorneys don't have to carry the emotional weight. When attorneys and judges ask her what to do with clients who are struggling emotionally, her answer is to hand them off to someone trained to help.
- The co-parent as a colleague. Jill asks co-parents whether they would react the same way to a colleague or coworker. If not, she asks them to look at what is triggering them. She says one stuck couple she worked with began to communicate much better after this shift.
- The goal is clear decisions. Her aim is to help people get their feet under them so they make clear decisions they won't regret later. She shared her own divorce story from 2012 as one example of a person choosing what mattered most to her.
- A team around the attorney. Divorce Network Pro connects attorneys with coaches, financial professionals, certified divorce lending professionals, real estate professionals and therapists. Jill says coaches help clients show up to attorney meetings organized and ready to work. The network is also launching a private client portal.
In her words
"you have to shift from being a married couple to being like co-parents, which is more like a colleague or coworker."
"my mission is to change divorce so that the professionals and the clients are happier."
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This post summarizes a general podcast conversation. It is not legal advice. Laws differ by state, so talk with a licensed attorney about your situation.
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