On this episode of Retained, Scott Bishop talks with Maria Natapov, founder of Synergistic Stepparenting. Maria coaches parents and stepparents through blended family and high-conflict situations, and she works alongside family law attorneys while cases are open and after. She shares why the work is personal for her, how fear affects clients, and the ways firms work with her.
Key takeaways
- Fear is often at the root. Maria says attorneys are strong on strategy and logistics, but a client's requests can still be driven by fear. Divorce brings many changes at once: money, identity, the kids. In a fear state, she says, it is hard to be flexible or see the other person's view.
- Parenting together lasts past 18. Maria points out that graduations, careers, engagements and weddings come later. How parents handle conflict now can shape whether they are part of those moments.
- Kids feel the conflict. In her words, children "have a relationship with their parents' relationship." She says the severity, frequency and length of the conflict kids see is what affects them most.
- Many ways to work together. Maria works with attorneys as a referral partner, offers quick calls to talk through a scenario, and offers complimentary co-parenting calls to clients. Some firms retain her to run group co-parenting support hours on Zoom just for their clients, about twice a month.
- How to bring up a coach. She suggests looking for a coach with clear scope and structure. Then explain the roles to the client: the attorney handles legal strategy, and the coach helps with emotions and the day-to-day, like late-night texts or a missed pickup.
In her words
"we do our best thinking when we are in a calm state, meaning in a regulated state."
"I'm here for your legal strategy. And this person is here for the emotional component and also for the day-to-day workability."
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This post summarizes a general podcast conversation. It is not legal advice. Laws differ by state, so talk with a licensed attorney about your situation.
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